Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  October 5, 2012 12:00am-1:05am EDT

12:00 am
we'll see you here tomorrow. up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- zac efron. >> this was the pinnacle of my career so far, being peed on by a -- >> "unnecessary censorship." >> mr. mayor, thank you for joining us. >> [ bleep ] you, wolf. >> jack black and kyle gass. >> we didn't come here to talk. we came here to rock! >> plus music from tenacious d. >> i believe that children are our future. >> i be[ female announcer ]are who will raise taxes on the middle class? barack obama and the liberals already have.
12:01 am
to pay for government-run healthcare, you'll pay higher taxes ndand more for your medicine. and their plan includes a trillion dollars in higher taxes. even on the middle class. mitt romney and common sense conservatives will cut taxes on the middle class. and they'll close loopholes for millionaires. obama and his liberal allies? we can't afford four more years. [omney] i'm mitt romney and i approve this message.
12:02 am
>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- zac efron. jack black and kyle gass. plus music from tenacious d. with cleto and the cletones. and now, in so many words, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's very nice. thank you, thank you. hi, everyone. hi, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show.
12:03 am
thank you for watching. thank you for coming. thanks for being here. thank you for, most of all, i want to say thank you for looking past my flaws and accepting me for who i am. serious. did you know that today is both national taco day and national vodka day, or just vomit day. [ applause ] to celebrate national taco and vodka day. we have a special treat for our audience. everybody look under our seats right now. okay. there's nothing under them, but that was -- [ laughter ] like, for a second, it with us exciting, right? i'm sorry, if you want stuff, you have to go to the ellen show. and what better day than this to celebrate a brand new season of "jersey shore"? tonight, mtv premiered the sixth and final season of "jersey shore" on mtv. you know, even though the show is still very popular, mtv decided to, they wanted to end it before the quality started to slip. [ laughter ]
12:04 am
watching the final season of "jersey shore," it's like watching the final mating season of an animal that's about to become extinct. a filthy animal. soon, the kids will move onto other shows, most likely "celebrity rehab," but for now -- i was thinking about the celebrity autograph shows. you know the ones, they hold them -- here they have them at the marriott in burbank, people like the guy who played tarzan and the girl who maked vicki the robot, they gather and -- i was thinking about, those people, at least they were actors. what are these shows going to look like in ten years when they are filled with reality shows? are people going to stand in line to meet jon gosselin? is somebody going to pay 50 bucks to get a picture with kendall kardashian? i think we need to start planning for this. anyway, "jersey shore," after five seasons, remember, it's still the only place on tv where you can see small orange women
12:05 am
peeing in parking lots, so -- [ laughter ] facebook just reached a major milestone. ceo mark zuckerberg announced this morning that his site now has 1 billion users. if facebook were a country, it would be the number three largest country in the world. and the number one least productive country in the world. [ laughter ] facebook also announced that they're testing a new feature called promote, which will allow users to pay to have their posts moved to the top of your news feed. for $7, facebook will put your post on top of everyone else's. perfect way to say, what i lack in cleverness, i make up for in money. it seems to me facebook is working very hard all the time to come up with new ways to make us hate facebook. but they say they are doing this in an attempt to find sources of revenue that aren't advertising, they don't want to put advertising on their site. and they're about to launch a companion feature called hush money, and here is how it
12:06 am
worked. >> you recently viewed 186 photos of are mona emerson. promote the story or hide the story from your timeline? >> wait, how is that a story? >> please submit payment of $7. >> what? >> i'm not screwing around here, kyle. $7 or the wheel world knows you're still living in 2007. >> okay, no, no, i'm doing it, i'm doing it. no -- no -- >> charlie kalp has tagged you in bachelor party bro-out blowout. approve this tag or hide this tag? >> >> no, untag, hide. >> submit payment of $79.95. >> do not show jessica! stop, stop! >> then show me the money, bitch. >> ahh! >> paid for my cameron and tyler winklevoss. [ applause ] >> jimmy: here's a fun video.
12:07 am
you know, when i was a kid, we didn't have video cameras built into everything so all the dumb stuff i did is gone. now, we have cameras and the internet to share our foolishness with the whole world. >> oh. >> money. >> for $1. for $1. that is the subway entrance. oh, my god. that was -- was that gross? >> that's bad. >> jimmy: yeah -- first time that rail has ever been cleaned. congratulations. this is why we need universal health care. did you watch the debate last night? [ applause ] i watched the debate. i watched a lot of the predebate coverage, too. last night on fox news, reporter andrea santeros was live at the university of denver where she provided us with our unintentional joke of the day. >> so, she has an opportunity, i
12:08 am
think, to slip it in. question is, will he? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i think he did. [ applause ] . most people agree, most analysts of this sort of thing that mitt romney won the debate last night. which means president obama lost two fights on his anniversary last night. the president -- the president seemed a little bit out of it last night. he had all the enthusiasm of a husband talking to his wife's friends at a dinner party. kept looking down and frowning. it was like he was looking -- he was trying to find a b of a of apple maps. the only thing that could have salvaged his performance if the body of bin laden fell from the ceiling onto the stage. mitt romney seemed downright human. he really did. he was relaxed before the debate. this is mitt and his wife ann watching their son play a rousing game of jenga. this is real. we didn't make this up. they are playing -- and look at how much fun they're having. have you ever seen a person enjoy watching althou ing anoth
12:09 am
play jenga as much as the romneys are here? he's having a dynamite time. i guess when you don't drink or smoke, jenga kicks ass. [ applause ] it's the simple things. moderator for the debate last night was jim lehrer of pbs and jim was as in control of this evening as a replacement referee. >> we do have to lower the cost of health care. not just in medicare -- >> talk about that in a minute. >> but overall. >> all i want to do -- >> let's get back to medicare. >> my experience is the private sector, typically -- >> all right, just so everybody understands, we're way over our first 15 minutes. >> the president began this segment, so, i think i get the last word, so i'm going to take it. >> this is a major difference that governor romney and i have. >> we're running out of time. >> jim. >> respond to that. >> two minutes is up, sir. >> no, i think i had five seconds before you interrupted me. >> i have to respond to that, which is, my experience as a
12:10 am
governor. >> let's look at this. >> romney earlier mentioned. >> like anything that's been tried before. >> well, bring down rates -- >> commission. >> i heard the romney clan. >> from the university of denver, i'm jim lehrer. >> and back into retirement. just wanted to get through the hot topics. normally i watch these debates with some of the people that work here but to honest, i'm sick of those people. i thought it would be fun to bring kids in, instead. kids love politics. so, i organized a little focus group to get their opinions of the debate, and here that are now. hi, guys. thank you so much for coming. do you know what a debate is? >> it's when two of the people that want to be president, say what they're going to do. >> jimmy: that's exactly right. so, let's take a look at this
12:11 am
debate and, here we go. >> good evening, from the magnus arena at the university of denver -- >> jimmy: what do you think of this guy? >> i don't like him. >> jimmy: you don't? >> he looks funny. >> what's funny? >> his eyes. >> jimmy: his eyes? huh, okay, all right. we're off to a good start. do you know who these guys are? >> they're both running against president obama but he's already a president. >> jimmy: do you know who the other guy is? >> mitt ronney. >> jimmy: that's right, mitt ronney. >> i promised i'd fight every single dale on y of behalf of t american people. >> jimmy: what is he saying right no? >> he promised he would fight every day. >> jimmy: who is he fighting every day? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: do you know? >> probably people that he hates? i don't know. >> jimmy: do you the thiink he' fighting monsters? >> no, everyone knows that monsters don't exist. >> jimmy: monsters don't exist.
12:12 am
have you ever heard of the cookie monster? >> yes. >> jimmy: hey, who do you think would win in a fight? mitt romney or president obama? >> obama. >> i'm pretty sure maybe president obama. >> jimmy: do your parents ever argue? >> yes, a lot. >> jimmy: what do they argue about? go ahead, liam. >> um -- the usual way my mom argues with my mom is with yelling. >> jimmy: with yelling, yeah. they say that's the best way to do it. whoeveryells the loudest wins, right? >> no. because my dad always loses and he always yells the loudest. >> jimmy: he does, he yells the loudest but he loses? how much do you thk the president gets paid? >> weekdays about 50. weekends, about the same thing. >> jimmy: okay. do you think he's makingbout $350 a week? >> probably. >> jimmy: what do you think, juliet?
12:13 am
>> $5. >> jimmy: $5 a week? what if i were to tell you that the president spends all his money, his whole paycheck, every week, on cotton candy? >> seriously? >> why would he do that? >> jimmy: he loves it. >> i love cotton candy. >> i thought -- wait, is that true? >> jimmy: yeah, it is true. so, do you believe in tax cuts for the middle class? >> no. >> jimmy: you don't? why not? >> because it's not fair, because it's the rich people have a lot of money, how come we're the ones who are getting cut? >> jimmy: i think we know who you're voting for. >> over 100 times -- >> jimmy: you see these two guys debating here. do y think we'll ever have a female president? >> oh, yeah. i want to be the first president. >> jimmy: you want to be the first president? what would you do if you were president? >> i would -- i would, first, i would eat a lot of cotton candy. and then i would eat chocolate.
12:14 am
>> jimmy: that sounds like a great -- you'd be a great president. who do you think is better at being president? men or women? >> women. >> jimmy: you say women? >> i say men, because we haven't ever had a woman again. >> i think, like, if this is the white house, i know a lot of girls that do not like white. >> jimmy: well, they could always paint it a different color, right? >> what woman killed the whole place and then we don't have america. >> jimmy: why do you think women would be better presidents, juliet? >> because. >> jimmy: that's a good reason as any. and alexis, what do you think? >> i just want to be president. >> jimmy: you just want to be president. >> probably won't happen. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, i thank you guys. this has been very informative for me. did you enjoy watching the debate? >> not really. >> jimmy: not really, no? i don't think anybody does, really. it's boring. if it was more like wrestling, it would be fun, right? >> yeah!
12:15 am
>> jimmy: i tell you something, i believe that children are our future. just not the four of you. >> oh, you're just mean. [ applause ] >> jimmy: interesting to get into their, what do they call it, brains? brains like that. one more thing. it's thursday night, and it is time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> for the first time tonight, president obama and governor mitt romney will [ bleep ] each other on stage. >> i talked to a guy who has a very small [ bleep ]. >> the teacher that i met in las vegas, wonderful young lady, who describes to me, she's got 42 [ bleep ] in her [ bleep ]. >> converted his bedroom to a shrine of men with freakishly large [ bleep ]. >> naked [ bleep ] sticking out. >> one of gail anderson's favorite days of the year.
12:16 am
>> she sometimes threatened to lick the [ bleep ]. >> please don't lick the [ bleep ]. >> if i want to lick a [ bleep ], i will lick a [ bleep ]. >> it's over there, it's white. i will lick it for you later. >> and your official photographer. i [ bleep ] him. you take their picture. >> mr. mayor, thank you for joining us. >> [ bleep ] you, wolf. >> who's got the [ bleep ] of the day today? >> i do! >> yeah! >> the overall feeling was surprise, frankly, that mitt romney and many people's words, didn't put his [ bleep ] in his mouth. >> how is that pain coming? >> i don't know. let me check. looking good! [ applause ] >> jimmy: we have a good show for you tonight. jack black and kyle gass are here with their band tenacious d. and we'll be right back with zac efron, so stick around. the applebee's 2 for $20 is one appetizer, two entrees
12:17 am
for just 20 bucks. only the best dishes make the menu. it's a southwest showdown. the chefs are coming out choppin'! you can taste the tension in the room! this is really distracting. [ berman ] they're throwing everything at each other -- chipotle, chopped cilantro! do you always do this? i just can't turn it off. must be exhausting. [ berman ] new southwest entrees, part of applebee's 2 for $20 lineup. perfect for game day or every day. see you tomorrow. and see you late night for half-priced apps.
12:18 am
your mouth has giggled, snuggled, bubbled ...and yellowed. because if you're not whitening, you're yellowing. crest whitestrips remove over ten years of stains and whiten 25 times better than a leading whitening toothpaste. crest 3d white whitestrips. [ male announcer ] one in six. that's how many struggle with hunger in america. ♪ but what if there was a simple way to feed those in need? now, there is. shop walmart for select brands' low prices through october 12th and you help secure meals for local families. go to walmart.com/hunger and learn more about how you can join the fight. because hunger is a big problem and it needs a big answer.
12:19 am
because hunger is a big problem [ beads rattling ]g ] [ male announcer ] spearmint that tingles as you chew. stimulate your senses. 5 gum. now in micro pack. >> jimmy: hi there, welcome back. tonight on the program, to rock you, jack black and kyle gass and their band tenacious d, with music from this album, "rize of the fenix" from the bud light stage. just take that in for a moment, will you. we have a good lineup for you next week. ben affleck will be here, as will will arnett, kevin james, megan mullally, demi lovato, chris elliot and music from ben howard, father john misty and dwight yoakam, so join us all next week, if you would be so kind. in the year 2006, our first guest narrowly beat me out for the role of singing and dancing
12:20 am
basketball player number one in "high school musical." but it all worked out for the best. his new movie, "the paperboy," he stars in it with nicole kidman, john cusack and matthew mcconaughey. it opens tomorrow. please welcome zac efron! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, it's good to see you. >> good to be back, man. >> jimmy: you've been out of the country? >> yeah, i just got back from the philippines, actually. >> jimmy: that's a -- why did you go to the philippines? >> you know, i went out there for a brand called pen shop, but i've always wanted to go to the philippines since i was a little boy. >> jimmy: why? >> my dad used to go and he would come back with all these stories that were kind of, you know, seemed like indiana jones when i was a kid. >> jimmy: he went regularly, your dad? >> yeah, he had friends that lived out there and --
12:21 am
>> jimmy: sounds shaky. >> i think it was. >> jimmy: i have a feeling you didn't get all the stories from dad. >> i'm positive i didn't get them. but i, you know, i just -- he told us so much about the culture and stuff and it seemed so different that i had to sort of magic image of the philippines. >> jimmy: when you are a kid, you hear about a place and, like, sometimes maybe you have to write a book report on a place and then you always want to go there for some reason. >> forever. so, finally i went and it was an unreal trip. it was -- >> jimmy: you enjoyed it? >> definitely. >> jimmy: did your dad go? >> yeah, he did. >> jimmy: he knew the local things to do, that sort of thing? >> he did. we found, the best way to really explore the culture was to taste all the food. so, we de-- >> jimmy: you mentioned you like eating unusual foods when you go, last time when you were here. >> i do. >> jimmy: i think that's a good thing to do, because things seem gross to us, but then you get to
12:22 am
a place and they eat it every day and maybe it's not so gross. >> they eat it on a daily basis. >> jimmy: you think about bacon, when it's boiled down. it's pig strips. >> i eat it every day. >> jimmy: you eat it every day. you have to, really, to be an american, yes, so. so you went to the philippines. you did the -- what did you eat over there? >> the first thing we tried was actually this thing called palut. it's kind of a weird thing, basically, they fertilize a duck egg and it sort of matures inside the egg, i don't know if you have ever heard of this? >> jimmy: no, you haven't. >> some guy was all, yeah. >> jimmy: this is the video you brought us, right? >> yeah, i brought a video of me trying it for the first time. >> jimmy: let's talk through this. where are you right now? >> i'm on top of a volcano. >> jimmy: oh, the egg is whole when you get it? >> yeah, it is.
12:23 am
>> jimmy: there's a cow in it? >> a fully formed little bird in there. >> jimmy: oh, my -- >> and that's like the juice that you have to suck out. >> jimmy: oh -- and that was good? it didn't look like you liked it. >> kind of like chicken broth. [ laughter ] that's vinegar. >> jimmy: okay, all right. >> here we go. whoa! it really wasn't that bad. >> jimmy: it doesn't look like you liked it at all. but you had to pretend or the people would throw you off the side of that cliff, right? >> kwae. [ applause ] there was, like, a hard part with, like, the beak and stuff. >> jimmy: you don't want to eat the beak. >> i didn't want to eat that. >> jimmy: wow, that's horrible. >> yes.
12:24 am
but i don't know, kind of cool. >> jimmy: would you do that again? >> i ate three more that day. >> jimmy: you did? >> it really wasn't that bad. i don't know. but it was cool. >> jimmy: speaking of animals, did you by any chance -- you are on the cover of this "black book" magazine. did you eat these birds? >> they are very expensive and -- >> jimmy: did you share this with them? >> this one looks like he knows all about me. >> jimmy: is this really on you or is this photoshopped in there? >> no, that's really on me, man. those were some nice suits and they sure didn't care. >> jimmy: don't these eat these? >> pretty tempted right now. >> jimmy: we have other pictures in here. when you said they -- did they ruin your suit? >> they did, yeah, they just -- it was all very expensive stuff. and they pooped all over it. >> jimmy: why not, if you have a chance. there you are with, what is that? >> that's a fox. yeah. very, very cool. so, these animals were awesome. these ones weren't bad.
12:25 am
>> jimmy: you look very happy with this one. what is that we have here? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: you don't know. >> to be honest. it looks like maybe a chinchilla. >> jimmy: i thought that was a back back or something you had. >> no, that's a real animal. >> jimmy: and this is the photo i want to ask you about. because you appear to be terrified -- >> all right, so, all those animals were cool, right? then they bring out a 12-foot python. >> jimmy: did they tell you about this? >> they didn't tell me about this one. >> jimmy: i wouldn't have told you, either. >> really weird. this was the only animal that had sort of an -- it kept coming at my face. >> jimmy: because it's a python. >> i -- that's what they told me, yeah. i think he was mad because i wasn't wearing socks. >> jimmy: did you explain to the animal that your face is a national treasure and you could not risk it in this way? >> i did. he didn't care. >> jimmy: you know what it is, they eat eggs like you ate. maybe he was sensing that you were -- you had something in common there. >> maybe.
12:26 am
>> jimmy: snakes do eat duck eggs if they can get ahold of them. all right, we're going to take a break here. when we come backs we're going to talk about this new movie in which some crazy stuff happens to you. >> very crazy stuff. >> jimmy: you're really growing up, zac. zac efron is here. the movie is called "the paperboy." we'll be right back.
12:27 am
♪ use freedom and get cash back. ♪ack. ♪ five percent on hotels and airlines. ♪ ♪ oh everybody conga line, ok! activate your 5% cash back at chase.com/freedom. ♪ everybody get, everybody get! ♪ new pink lemonade 5-hour energy? 5-hour energy supports the avon foundation for women breast cancer crusade. so i can get the energized feeling i need and support a great cause? i'm sold. pink lemonade 5-hour energy? yeah and a portion of every sale goes to the avon foundation for women breast cancer crusade. i'm sold. new pink lemonade 5-hour energy. get the alert, energized feeling you need and support breast cancer research and access to care.
12:28 am
can your moisturizer do that? [ female announcer ] dermatologist recommended aveeno has an oat formula, now proven to build a moisture reserve, so skin can replenish itself. that's healthy skin for life. only from aveeno.
12:29 am
12:30 am
so skin can replenish itself. i mean we've been here for five hours and it only feels like four. it feels like four tops. this year, we're finally getting everything...
12:31 am
...that we didn't get last year. yeah. big screen! true 4g. yup. sfx: bing! hey, what did you just do? i just sent him a playlist. by touching phones? yup, simple as that. it's the galaxy s3. i'll see you at the studio later. later. when do you think we're going to be able to... do that thing? on the next one? vo: the next big thing is already here. the samsung galaxy s3. i feel like if it's not one thing- it's another. ends with you. well, that ends today. the craftsman c3 line. one battery, more than 30 tools and the power to tackle any job that stands in your way.
12:32 am
you're welcome. the c3 line. only from craftsman. trust. in your hands. [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] house party. ♪ [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] temptation. [ female announcer ] i'll have the yellow tail, i'll have the yellow tail. ♪ go-to... [ male announcer ] joker's wild. [ female announcer ] i just love that moscato. go-to... [ male announcer ] girl's night in. [ female announcer ] never the wrong time, for the right wine. [ male announcer ] yellow tail. the go-to. and one wedding, 2 kids,
12:33 am
43 bottles of olay total effects many birthdays later, still looks amazing. thanks to the trusted performance of olay. i'm here to snake the drain. i'm here to flush the pipe. vo: liquid plumr double impact has a long snake that reaches deep in the pipe to grab the toughest clogs, and a powerful gel to finish off the rest. baby. quid plumr double impact. some things won't last 25 years. ah! woof!
12:34 am
some things will.
12:35 am
some things won't last 25 years. ah! woof! some things will. so -- >> well, we was drunk one night and i just -- i lost my temper, well, i emptied the pool. >> at your college? >> the university of florida. they call that vandalism. i guess. actually not as easy to do as it sounds. >> do you lose your temper often?
12:36 am
>> jimmy: that is zac efron and nicole kidman in "the paperboy." nicole kidman, that's pretty -- that's impressive. is that intimidating to work with someone like that? >> it was unreal. i couldn't believe it. this cast started to develop and started to build, matthew mcconaughey got involved. >> jimmy: what did you guys talk about? do you ask these people for advice, that kind of thing? do you not do that -- >> i think it's weird to just -- what do you ask an actor for advice? i would never sit down and put it on them like that, but the best way for me and matthew to sort of get to know each other was to sit down and have a glass of wine. and, yeah, he was -- he was unbelievable. >> jimmy: what did he tell you? did he steer you in a direction of any kind? >> what advice did matthew give me? >> jimmy: yeah. did he make any coherent
12:37 am
statements at all? >> yeah, he did. one time i remember he was telling me, you know, wouldn't seem like it's important, but you got to stop taking your shirt off too much. >> jimmy: he told you that? >> yeah, he's like, you know, people take it real seriously, man, you know? you think it wouldn't matter, but you know, people care. >> jimmy: that's like snoop dogg telling you you smoke too much pot. [ laughter ] that's -- he's speaking from experience. >> he is, he is. >> jimmy: i heard you are in your underpants for almost the entire movie. is that the case? and did you know that was going to be the case beforehand? >> it was totally not our intention. >> jimmy: it was not? >> it really wasn't. i didn't know.intention, maybe. doesn't say in the script, "in his underpants?" >> not at all. lee is the kind of director where you really sort of give yourself to him 100%, whatever he asks for. you trust him. we were very trusting of lee.
12:38 am
and i think more often than not we just ended up -- i don't note how it happened, geez. we just ended up in our underwear a lot. >> jimmy: dithe wardrobe person have a rack of underpants to choose from? were they your own? >> i love you are so interested in this. >> jimmy: well, the truth is, i know that they're interested in the underpants angle, so -- [ cheers and applause ] some more than others. >> it was -- yeah. >> jimmy: well, you and nicole kidman, there's a scene in the movie where -- something happens. that's terrible. >> you're afraid to say it. >> jimmy: i'd rather let you say it. you want to say it? >> in the movie, in "paperboy," i get stung by a jelly fish and the only way to save yourself from the toxin in a jelly fish, and this is true -- >> jimmy: no, it's not. >> it's true. >> jimmy: i know everyone thinks it's true, but it's not true.
12:39 am
you got peed on for no reason. oh, zac, no. i don't know if it's true, but it's funny at the beach. >> i didn't care because i was so excited to do it, actually. because you ccan -- you can kin of, like, you know, i kind of -- you can gauge how your career is going in certain moments and, you know, there's different chapters, i think. and as i mature, this was the pinnacle of my career so far, being peed on by an oscar winner. >> jimmy: that's a great way to look at it. >> that was the moment. >> jimmy: great to see you. congratulations on the movie. it's called "the paperboy." it opens in theaters tomorrow. zac efron, everybody. we'll be right back with tenacious d. jack, you're a little boring.
12:40 am
boring. boring. [ jack ] after lauren broke up with me, i went to the citi private pass page and decided to be...not boring. that's how i met marilyn... giada... really good. yes! [ jack ] ...and alicia. ♪ this girl is on fire [ male announcer ] use any citi card to get the benefits of private pass.
12:41 am
more concerts, more events, more experiences. [ jack ] hey, who's boring now? [ male announcer ] get more access with the citi card. [ crowd cheering, mouse clicks ] promise full whitening results in two weeks or more. rembrandt® deeply white™ 2 hour whitening kit is proven to quickly remove surface stains and deep stains in just two hours. [ female announcer ] rembrandt® deeply white™: whiten in just 2 hours. what a bargain! [ female announcer ] sometimes a good deal turns out to be not such a good deal. but bounty gives you value you can see. in this lab demo, one sheet of bounty leaves this surface cleaner than two sheets of the leading ordinary brand. so you can clean this mess with half as many sheets. bounty has trap and lock technology to soak up big spills and lock them in. why use more when you can use less? bounty. the clean picker upper.
12:42 am
12:43 am
12:44 am
12:45 am
monopoly at mcdonald's is awesome. one in four are winners. hard to beat those odds. i can. i'm moving to san diego. why? it's the luckiest city in america. it's got the most sweepstakes winners and the fewest lightning strikes. it doesn't matter where you are, it's still 1 in 4. [ thunder crashes ] just the same, i think i'd prefer san diego. [ male announcer ] it's the 20th edition of monopoly at mcdonald's and 1 in 4 wins. with over 300 million dollars in cash and great prizes, it's the most prizes ever. the simple joy of winning. ♪ the simple joy of winning. i don't know what shape that is .. but it's not round..
12:46 am
so why would headphones be round? they should be shaped like this.. 'earshaped'. you know .. so they fit in your ears. has become boring and tasteless... only one man can save the day. ♪ ♪ he's nutty! ♪ he's crunchy! [ male announcer ] it's crunchy nut! honey sweet flakes with nuts in every bite! ♪ he saves the day! ♪ in his tasty way! ♪ ♪ he is the crunchy nut! [ male announcer ] kellogg's crunchy nut. it's super delicious! so i get claritin clear. this is all bayberry. bayberry pollen. very allergenic. non-drowsy claritin relieves my worst symptoms
12:47 am
only claritin is proven to keep me as alert and focused as someone without allergies. live claritin clear. so the production of twix was divided between two separate factories. left twix factory cascades caramel and chocolate onto cookie, while right twix factory flows caramel and chocolate onto cookie. today they share nothing, but a wrapper and a driveway. try both and pick a side.
12:48 am
on gasoline. i am probably going to the gas station about once a month. last time i was at a gas station was about...i would sa.. two months ago. i very rarely put gas in my chevy volt. i go to the gas stationio such a small amount that i forget how to put gas in my car. [ male announcer ] and it's not just these owners giving the volt high praise. volt received the j.d. power and associates appeal award two years in a row. ♪
12:49 am
>> jimmy: so, i looked it up on the internet and you do get bit by a jelly fish, there's no point in peeing on it, but you can if you want. but you don't need to. do it for fun. don't do it for medical reasons, is what i'm trying to say. our next two guests have been called guitar-wielding musical deities, the greatest band in the world and the two-man holy trinity of rock and roll. and that's just by them. their album, "rize of the fenix" -- spelled completely wrong -- is available now. please welcome jack black and kyle gass, tenacious d. [ cheers and applause ]
12:50 am
[ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well done. >> jimmy: nicely done. >> what are we doing here? why are we here? >> jimmy: i don't know. >> i know why we're not here. we're not here to talk.
12:51 am
>> jimmy: you're not? >> we didn't come here to talk. we came here to rock! i don't want to talk. do you want to talk? >> no. >> do you have anything you want to talk about? >> i don't have anything to say. >> why are we out here to talk? i'll tell you why. i know why. i already know why. it's because, obviously, to talk about the incredible amount of buzz that our new album is getting. everyone saying, tenacious d's new album is going to win a grammy. oh, my god, isn't it? it's got a lot of grammy buzz. this is going to win best album, best rock album? best comedy album, win both? has anyone ever won both? and we are so sick of it. we don't even want a grammy. >> jimmy: you don't? >> i know you just hosted the grammys but we don't want that thing. >> jimmy: i actually hosted the emmys. that was the emmys. >> whatever. >> jimmy: so, you don't want a
12:52 am
grammy then? >> i do not. >> jimmy: would you reject ag m gr grammy if it was given to you? >> we would kick it in the balls. >> get out of here. >> jimmy: that would be fun to see, i think. >> too late, grammy. get out of my face. >> jimmy: you -- you guys have -- you spent most of the summer on tour. >> yeah. >> jimmy: in both the united states and europe. >> yeah. all around the world, pretty much. >> jimmy: and up are going back to germany, right? >> germany can't get enough. we have to go back and feed the beast. they want more d. >> jimmy: what steps in germany? >> well, next week we're going to be in deucele dorf. we don't have -- all our peeps, come to the show next week! >> come on! >> jimmy: i don't think we're on there. >> what? >> you're not on? >> respect you on everywhere in the world? >> jimmy: no. >> what are we doing here? >> jimmy: i don't know. >> if anyone knows anyone that has german relatives, give them a ring, tell them to go.
12:53 am
>> jimmy: that's a good way. >> anybody that really loves the d can buy a ticket. it's not too late. [ applause ] >> jimmy: and you guys are very popular in germany, like, all kidding aside, right? they love you in germany. have you figured out what -- do they get it, do you think? do they know what's happening? >> i don't think they know what we're talking about. >> i think it's like the way the beatles were huge in germany. before they were big in england, you know, germans love the beatles and it's probably like that. >> jimmy: you think it's like that. >> or, like hasselhoff. but i prefer to think they like us like they like the beatles. >> jimmy: you are also doing a concert here in the united states next month. >> yeah. >> jimmy: in cleveland. >> yeah. cleveland, november 1st, swing state. we are going to rock the vote. we're going to rock the lomothe loving boat. we're not saying who to vote
12:54 am
for. just vote for that mother lover. >> jimmy: and this is where the rock and roll hall of fame is -- >> that's true. >> jimmy: obviously you guys -- >> we will make a stop there. they've been begging us for guitar place to put in a special place. >> jimmy: that's nice of you. >> they haven't actually called but we will be giving them guitar picks. >> jimmy: there are two versions of your album. this is kind of the main version, i guess, and the art work is beautiful there. >> thank you. >> jimmy: really -- who did the art work? >> that's a friend of ours, james crewson. >> jimmy: uh-huh. that's him? and -- and then you have the clean version, which is titled the clean version. >> that one is good for the whole family. are the lyrics clean? >> yeah, actually. and we didn't just bleep them. we replaced them with funnier
12:55 am
words than the curse words. i got kids now and theyn want t hear my jams and i accidentally, or not, let them -- i was excited to share with them the new jam and i played them some of the dirty versions. i wasn't thinking. and then, now they've got some bad, bad language. >> jimmy: how old are they? >> 4 and 6. i'm terrified they are going to drop some language at school. i told them, that's just for home. >> jimmy: the truth is, they're going to learn the words anyway. they might as well learn it from their father and their uncle. >> exactly. >> jimmy: you think the same way we think. it's been a big deal. we've been thinking a lot about it lately, actually, all the people who have kids, they're like, now we have to mellow our thing out. let's not be into rock and hard core things anymore. it's so lame. >> jimmy: it is lame. >> we actually, we did a video. thank you. [ applause ] yes. >> jimmy: lamest thing ever. >> we did a public service announcement.
12:56 am
>> jimmy: we have that video. >> i brought my friend larry up in the control booth, i wanted to see -- can we play it? >> larry, role the tape. >> jimmy: roll it, larry. >> look at all these babies, these crappy babies. these children are afflicted with a terrible problem. they suffer from a parent who does not rock. it's a [ bleep ] epidemic. we're the [ bleep ] hard working [ bleep ] known as tenacious d. and this is our baby. yeah, we shot our dna and this thing grew. because we got a little ankle biter doesn't mean we have to give up our kick ass lifestyle. he rocks because we rock. >> we're helping parents to rock. >> when you make a baby, you don't have to buy fluffy baby crap. >> that's right. your rehearsal space is already
12:57 am
a nursery. >> a simple music stand or? >> a baby flat form. >> amp cab? >> or changing dabl witable witr hutch. >> you don't have to give up your ride, either. >> safety first. and just because you are parent doesn't mean you have to say good-bye to the roadies and the groupies. they are all super useful. what are you groupies doing? where are the roadies? >> ah -- yak? . >> sorry, guys. my teets aren't what they used to be. >> so don't throw away the records of the rock and roll lifestyle. >> you can't give up the cat. >> mom and dad, time to grow a hairy pair of balls and stop being such [ bleep ] [ bleep ].
12:58 am
>> jimmy: you guys and a baby. all right, so you guys have -- why don't you go about your rituals, whatever they may be and get ready, reappear and do some music for us. tenacious d -- clean version or dirty tonight? >> we'll see. >> jimmy: mix it up a little. all right, we'll be right back with tenacious d. weeks of this campaign... and more ads. you, in your living room or... what i'd say. losing nearly eight hundred... mired in iraq. nation we are... moving forward again. get folks back to work and... again. that with even bigger... fewer regulations... prosper. on the same trickle-down... in the first place. so what's my plan? manucturing jobs... exports... that... ship jobs overseas. in half and produce more... clean coal, natural gas... solar, and biofuels. efficiency of cars and trucks. maintain the best workforce... hundred thousand additional... training two million... they need at our community... tuition in half and... americans can afford it. reduce our deficit by... next decade, on top of the... already cut. little more. afghanistan... pay down our debt and... nation-building... right here at home. patriotism, rooted in the... begins with a strong... thriving middle class. read my plan. and decide for yourself. thanks for listening. this message.
12:59 am
1:00 am
1:01 am
>> jimmy: "rize of the fenix" is their latest album. here with the song, "to be the best," tenacious d! ♪ ♪ ♪ to be the best we got to pass the test we gotta make it all the way to the top of the mountain ♪ ♪ we can do it again ♪ to feel the high we got to learn to fly we got to take it to the sky on the wings of an eagle ♪ ♪ you're the best in the world♪
1:02 am
♪ you are the best but you say you don't know you got the touch now come on let it show ♪ ♪ you call the shots but you know that you got to believe in ♪ ♪ the things that you're dreaming you search for the meaning is very revealing ♪ ♪ the power of being is what you're feeling you gotta believe ♪ ♪ that you're simply the best who here wants to be second best? who wants to be pretty good? that's what i thought. only, like, two or three of you. you want to be number one? yeah! if you want to be the best, clap with me.
1:03 am
one, two. ♪ to the top of the mountain ♪ we can do it again ♪ to make or break ♪ you got to laminate ♪ on the wings of an eagle ♪ you are the best ♪ but you claim you don't know ♪ you call the shots but you know that you gots to believe in ♪ ♪ the things that you're dreaming you search for the meaning is very revealing ♪ ♪ the power of being is what you're feeling you gotta believe ♪ ♪ that you're simply the best
1:04 am
>> jimmy: i want to thank zac efron, jack black and kyle gass. apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. their new album, "rize of the fenix," is out now. playing us off the air with "the ballad of hollywood jack and the rage kage" -- see the full performance at jimmykimmellive.com -- once again, tenacious d! good night! ♪ ♪ this is the ballad of hollywood jack and the rage kage ♪ ♪ nothing could stop them when jables and rage hit the stage ♪ ♪ and hollywood jack hit the big time and went to make movies ♪ ♪ rage kage was left far behind in the dust of his dreams ♪ ♪ and he grumbled and growled and watched

100 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on